Therapy for Perfectionism and High Standards

You might look like you have it together—but it doesn’t feel that way inside

You set high standards for yourself. You care about doing things well. From the outside, it might even look like you’re thriving.

But internally, it can feel exhausting.

You might overthink decisions, put a lot of pressure on yourself, or feel like nothing you do is ever quite “good enough.” Even when things go well, it’s hard to fully relax or feel satisfied.


Perfectionism Can Look Like:

  • Procrastinating because you’re worried it won’t be good enough

  • Spending excessive time on tasks trying to get them “just right”

  • Being highly self-critical, even over small mistakes

  • Feeling anxious about performance (school, work, relationships)

  • Struggling to enjoy achievements or feel a sense of “done”

  • Avoiding things where there’s a chance you might fail

What’s actually going on

Perfectionism isn’t just about high standards—it’s often closely tied to anxiety.

There can be a strong fear of making mistakes, being judged, or not meeting expectations (your own or others’). Over time, this can lead to patterns like overworking, avoidance, or constant self-doubt.

Ironically, the strategies meant to help you succeed can start to hold you back or leave you feeling burned out (the paradox of perfectionism).

How therapy can help

In therapy, we work on shifting the patterns that keep perfectionism in place—without asking you to stop caring or lower your values.

We might focus on:

  • Noticing and responding differently to self-critical thoughts

  • Reducing all-or-nothing thinking

  • Building tolerance for mistakes and uncertainty

  • Gradually stepping into situations you’ve been avoiding

  • Learning how to set more flexible, sustainable standards

The goal isn’t to become careless, in fact there are likely many beneficial things about your perfectionism! Rather, it’s about finding more balanced, feeling confident, and less stuck.

What sessions are like?

Sessions are collaborative, supportive, and practical.

We’ll look at real situations from your life and work through them together. You’ll leave with tools and strategies you can actually use, and sometimes small, manageable experiments to try between sessions.

We move at a pace that feels manageable, while still helping you make meaningful changes.

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If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and it’s something that can change with the right support.

I offer virtual therapy for clients across Ontario and British Columbia.